My Heart Will Go On
by TheWrightHeartie
Summary: Elizabeth Thornton had just married the love of her life, Jack Thornton. They had been married for a month and then Jack got word he had an assignment and would be gone 2 months. Halfway through Elizabeth got news that would change her life forever.
1. Chapter 1

The moment I woke up that cold bitter morning I knew something was wrong. There was a strange sensation inside of me. Something I had never felt before. I reached over to the other side of the bed, but just as my hand hit the cold empty sheet I remembered what happened.

Then I remembered. Jack.

How I got to my bed that night I don't know, how I even managed to fall asleep I still don't know how that was possible.

Yesterday night was supposed be a night of celebration, it was Dr. Shepherd's birthday and the whole town was throwing him a surprise party. Carson has been such a blessing to Hope Valley. We were all so excited to help celebrate him.

I had left my present for him at the schoolhouse and went to go grab it. Little did I know that I'm just a few minutes my life would never be the same. Abigail decided to go with me, why I don't know but I am so thankful she decided to go with me...

We had just walked out of the saloon when I heard a horse riding in. I saw the red serge and instantly thought of Jack, thought of us, how I was going to embrace him as soon as he leaps off Sergeant. I started walking towards him. I took a few steps and realized he wasn't my beloved husband.

"Sorry, I thought you were someone else." I said. The young mountie looked at Abigail and I and said. " I'm looking for a Mrs. Elizabeth Thornton. "

I loved hearing that name but there was something about his tone that I just didn't like. "I'm... Mrs. Thornton... Has he been hurt?" I felt my knees going weak and my stomach drop.

He took his Stetson off and looked as if he was trying to figure out the best way to tell me something. "Please, just tell me he is alive." At this point I could feel tears starting to come. My vision was blurring and I couldn't stand straight.

Then he said the words I had dreaded to hear, the words I had never wanted to hear in my life. "I'm sorry ma'am."

" No, no, NO! " I fell down to my knees and felt Abigail right at my side trying to comfort me. But right then I didn't want Abigail, I wanted Jack. My husband, and I had just been told he wasn't alive.

By now the the whole town had heard the commotion and started piling out of the saloon and coming to the center of the road. I remember seeing Rosemary come over to me. "Elizabeth. Please get off the dusty road and come over here, everything is going to be alright." She was wiping tears off her eyes as she was saying that. How would she ever understand the pain I was feeling knowing I would never see the love of my life again.

And that's all I remember from that dark and painful night. I don't remember being led away from the road, or somehow getting to my row house and in bed.

Jack was dead and would never come back. With that thought I rolled over to my side of the bed and started to cry.


	2. Chapter 2

The next few days were all a blur, I was just going through the motions. They were the longest days of my life. Never had I ever imagined that one could feel so much pain, could have so many years to cry. I felt as if a huge piece was missing inside of me. A piece that I would never have again.

Abigail and Rosemary took turns staying with me the first few days. I still haven't said a word since that night. Even if I tried to force words out I don't think they would have come out. Abigail had closed the Cafe for the days she was with me. Rosemary was so different, she seemed to be having a great deal of difficulty finding something to say.

Abigail was with me today, she was reading a book while I stood looking out the window. She looked up and towards me. "Elizabeth, I sent a telegram to your parents. They will be arriving on tomorrow's stage." She said with such sadness it hurt me to hear her that way, I knew I needed to say something. "Than... thank you Abigail." It came out rather hoarse, stiff and cold, sounding like a whole different person inside of me.

Abigail stood and left her book on the sofa and started walking my way. I knew what she was going to try and tell me. And tried to think of some way to avoid it. "Elizabeth, we need to start planning..." I knew she was right, I had seen them yesterday morning, they were carrying the coffin through town and into the church. "I can't.. I can't do it Abigail. No one can understand." The tears started forming in my eyes again. And before long the sobbing came uncontrollably.

Abigail reached for my shoulders and looked me right in the eye. "Shhh... Shhhh... Elizabeth, I know the pain you're feeling. When it came time for me to say my final goodbye to my Noah and my Peter, it was the last thing I wanted to . I wasn't willing to accept that they were gone. Please Elizabeth let me help you, I want to help you. If you need anything..." She stopped but not before the tears came streaming down her face.

I looked right at Abigail, she was such a dear friend to me and in my pain I completely forgot that Abigail and most of Hope Valley had gone through what I'm dealing with right now. They all understand what it's like to lose a part of you. "I'm sorry Abigail. It's just so.. so hard. I don't think I can do it."

" I said the same thing Elizabeth. I'll help you through it... we all will." She reached for me and gave me a loving embrace, I started crying into her shoulder. I needed that right then and she knew and just let me cry. After a few minutes I pulled away and told her we could start on some plans. As long as I had Abigail with me I felt as if I could make it through until my parents came.

On the way to town the next morning I could feel the eyes looking at me. It was a silent walk with Abigail beside me. It was the first time I had been to town. I needed to meet my parents stage though. This was the first time my Mother would see Hope Valley. The place I called home. The place I met my true love and the place he would be buried. I felt more tears forming. Would I always cry whenever i thought of him?

Bill Avery, Lee and Rosemary all came over to the platform and waited with Abigail and I. Bill broke the silence. "Here comes the stage." He stated matter of factly. I saw Mother first, her head leaning forward trying to catch a glimpse of our town in a very unlady like fashion. It brought a quick smile to my face. But not before I could cover it with my hand.

Father came out first. "My dearest Elizabeth. I can't even imagine the pain you are feeling now" He pulled me into his arms, never had I felt like his little girl more than that moment. He just held me and let me cry. Mother was next, " Oh Elizabeth! I'm so sorry. " I went to give her a hug which she returned. Julie came out next, she had been crying. Her eyes were all puffy and cheeks were red. For the first time I could ever remember my dear sister Julie was speechless. She came and hugged me, both of us crying. Would the tears ever stop?


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm sorry in the delay in getting this chapter up! This was a very difficult chapter to write and I could only do a little bit at a time. And to top it all off I had a terrible tooth ache which led to it being pulled so I wasn't up for writing for about a week. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, I hope to have another one up this weekend.**

I unlocked the door to the row house, I wasn't quite sure how Mother would react or respond upon seeing our... my small humble home. "This is it...what do you think Mother?" She was still taking it all in looking over every piece, her eyes stopped at the table with the photos of Jack and I. She finally spoke and gave a small smile. "I can see you have worked really hard to make it a nice and comfortable place to live." She lifted her arms and I gladly went in for a loving embrace. "Where shall I put the bags my dear Elizabeth?" Father had just entered holding the bags. "I'll show you guys to your room." I grabbed for a bag and started upstairs. Rosemary and Lee had offered for Julie to stay with them since I only had the 1 spare room.

"It has been a very long day, I think your Father and I will freshen up a bit and then take a nap. Will you be alright for a few hours?" Mother asked that question so sincerely. I don't know what was happening to the old Mother but I rather liked this new side of her. "I'll be fine Mother, thank you. I hope you find everything comfortable." Mother put her hand on my arm. " I'm sure we will be just fine Elizabeth. "

During those quiet hours I didn't know what to do. I grabbed my shawl and decided to go out for a walk. I just started walking. I was able to shut everything out from the past week and really think. I never had any particular place in mind but somehow I ended up at Jack's favorite place. When I first realized where I was I wanted to run back home. But instead of running I sat down on a fallen log. All the memories came back, our first kiss, riding lessons, Jack showing me the school, his proposal, and our wedding. It was all just too much, The memories were still too fresh and my emotions were just too raw. I got up and started running back home tears falling down freely.

The next morning was bitter cold with dark clouds and it was raining slightly. I felt exactly the same dark and alone. I didn't have time to cry today It was time to get ready for Jack's funeral. I've never liked wearing black, nevertheless here I was, dressed from black from top to bottom. My Mother was just coming down the stairs with Father right behind her. "Well... are you. . ready Elizabeth?" Would I ever be ready for this? "Yes Mother, we can go now." A soft knock came before the door being opened slowly and in walked Julie. "Are you guys ready?" Julie asked with questionable eyes. "Yes, we were just on our way out." Father sounded so sad. I had never heard him like this.

The ride to town was so quiet no one spoke a word. Mother placed her hand on my knee and looked right into me, she didn't need to say anything I could read what she was trying to say without actually saying it and I could hear her repeating the verse she often did when we were children. "The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want..." I can't explain it but for some reason that verse gave me so much hope and love that I desperately needed to feel.

We weren't the first to arrive. Abigail was there with Cody standing next to her. Lee and Rosemary Bill, Florence, Molly, and Dottie were also waiting, all eyes were either looking down or staring across the valley. I walked over next to Abigail my family followed me to the front. Abigail was at my left with my parents standing at my right. Not long after that the rest of the town started showing up. Jack's mother showed up and started walking behind me. I reached out and gave her a hug. Neither of us needed to say anything we just held onto each other for awhile. My attention was turned when I saw a large group of Mounties walking over, the bright red serge I had grown to love stood out in the group of all of us who wearing dark colors.

I honestly don't remember how the service started I remember that there was a strange eerie quiet that had fallen upon everyone. My main focus was not to cry too much during the service so I sort of blocked everything out once it started. Bill cleared his throat and started talking and my attention went to Bill. "Jack died as he lived, a hero. Never will I meet a better man... Never will there be a braver mountie... Never will I have a truer friend." I felt so much more than I could ever explain, I felt my heart swell with pride over the huge compliment that Bill Avery just gave him. But at the same time I felt such a gut wrenching pain that Jack wasn't heree to hear that. Abigail put her arm around me and squeezed as best as she could with 1 arm and then I realized that she wasn't doing it just for me, she needed it before she was going to speak herself. Abigail was having a hard time to control herself but she still went on. "Jack Thornton was a humble man who viewed his duty as a mountie not as a choice that deserved praise but as his heart's calling. Know that your darling Elizabeth will never be alone."

I couldn't hold it in any longer the sobs were already coming and I couldn't stop. I leaned closer to Abigail and could feel her arm around me tighten. In the background I heard "Ready, aim, fire." The Mounties then raised their guns and fired across the meadow. Through my cries i could hear the bagpipes starting to sound out one of my favorite hymns, Amazing Grace, then I heard Rosemary and the children start singing "Amazing Grace how sweet the sound..."

Slowly people had started leaving, first just a few and pretty soon it was just my Parents, Abigail and Charlotte. Abigail asked "Do you want some alone time now Elizabeth?" I could tell that all eyes were on me now, I still didn't trust myself to say the words so I just nodded instead. "We'll start heading towards the cafe, take your time." Abigail led my parents and Charlotte back to town. I stood looking down at the freshly dug grave for awhile. Then I just crumpled down and fell down, tears streaming down my cheeks sobs choking me as I tried to say a few words to Jack. "Oh why Jack, why did you have to leave? I loved you so much Jack. I... can't..." I was interrupted by someone clearing their throat. I hurriedly wiped at the tears on my eyes and stood up. "Ahemm... I'm sorry to interrupt... I uhhh... had something for you." I looked up and saw a bright red serge I was looking into the eyes of a Mountie. He took his Stetson off and continued. "I'm sorry this is rather difficult for me... I ummmm... I have a few of your husband's belongings and thought you would like to have them." He put his hand in his breast pocket and took out Jack's compass. And handed it out to me. "Ohh, thank you so much..." I had a hard time controlling my tears now as I held on to this iron brass compass that had helped Jack find his way.

The Mountie put his Stetson back on and said "I have a few more things but thought you might like to get them later... Is there somewhere I can drop them off?" My mind immediately went to thinking what else this man could have, and how did he get them. "Abigail's Cafe. If you have more you can take it there and leave it with Abigail." " Okay, I'll do that this week. Again I'm sorry to interrupt. And I'm sorry for your loss." With that he turned and started walking back to town. I knew that I should have thanked him but I couldn't quite get the words out just then. I looked back down at the compass and held it close to my chest and just let the tears fall freely now.

 **This was a painful chapter to write but I finally finished it. I hope to have another chapter up this weekend. If you don't follow me on Instagram you can the_wright_heartie**


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